Having Courage To Speak Out Was Scary… But Necessary

After finishing my first  published blog today I went poking around to see how things worked.  I saw where I could immediately connect to Face Book and I tried and got there fine.  Then I saw Face Book  down below.  I clicked it and it let me know that the link  there would lead me to my Face Book page to share.  I yelled “Yikes no”.  Then I thought a minute.  Self talk is my friend lots of the time.  I thought, if I truly want mental illness out there and talked about, why don’t I want my friends and family to be included?  Most of my family is aware, but we never speak about it.  I consider myself the elephant in the room.  I talk to my massage therapist about it, who I have grown to know and love, and see regularly.  I had  female cousins visit from CO and TX this summer and I told them.  I have shared with a male cousin who may have someone he knows that is affected with the disorder.

When I posted a piece on my Face Book page about depression soon after Robin Williams died, a childhood friend made a comment or a” like” on my page. I don’t know why but I sent her a private message saying that  I was Bipolar.  She responded with a comment that her teen-aged grandson had tried to commit suicide a few weeks earlier.  I thought to myself at the time,  These issues need to be talked about through education and support groups and what ever.  Shortly after I was encouraged to start this blog.

Mentally ill people get over looked often because they are embarrassed  and ashamed like I was.  We  become Academy Award caliber actors hiding our pain.  We go underground and isolate ourselves when we are depressed.  So I put my big girl pants on and clicked to share my blog with the world including some of my friends and family who I knew did not know I was  Bipolar.  Obviously I had some hidden or not so hidden shame and embarrassment attached to my disorder. Would I have felt the same if I had cancer or another problem? NO. Well isn’t that a pile of insight?  Right now I am feeling pretty proud of myself. Because I want people like me to not be afraid, and if I can come out of the “Bipolar closet” then so can a lot of others with a little encouragement.  And if my coming out upsets anyone in my life they can either suck it up and get over it or just ignore my blogs because I am just getting started.

I am normal, just without a filter.  And sometimes that might just be a good thing.


About ahuelon

Marty: Retired from sales and management near Seattle, Washington.
This entry was posted in Bipolar, Mental Illness and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Having Courage To Speak Out Was Scary… But Necessary

  1. Stacy Yates says:

    LOVE it!! Be proud of you! 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  2. atridim says:

    Excellent post. Very gripping. Looking at your hits number, considering this is only your second post and day 2…You are on a roll. Looks like you are mastering the tags well. They are responsible for most of your hits…coming in from web searches via Google, WordPress, etc.
    Your blogmeister, Captain Rick


  3. ahuelon says:

    Speaking from the heart is usually well received. I think the heart is a great filter and encourages truth no matter how scary or painful the message. Your praise is always a gift to me.


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