When Bad Things Happen To Good People: Mass Depression…Where is Faith?

Last week I got the news that my granddaughter’s husband has Leukemia.  I am flat as a pancake right now.  Her husband is in his late twenties, a devoted husband, dad to a 3-year-old son and seven month old daughter.  He is an all around great human being, and actively follows Christ’s teachings.  The good news is that he has a chronic illness that will not require kemo or a bone marrow procedure.  It will take him up to two years to reach remission according to his doctors.  He will be out of work for some time while being treated.

The family has a tremendous support system surrounding them.  Shortly after the news went out on Face Book there were almost 100 comments for encouragement.  A fund has been set up to help and in three days it had reached a good sum of money to help them.

I think there is a huge number of people who love this family,and are experiencing sadness and depression.  I am lower than low because of my being Bipolar.  The feeling of helplessness is driving me nuts.  I asked  myself how can I deal with this?

I have used writing in the past to help me connect to God and my faith. So yesterday I sat down and wrote this young man  a letter and shared some things that have helped me over rough spots.  I will share some of that letter with you.

I told him that I believed thoughts and self  talk were very powerful.  Positive ones can even help strengthen the immune  system.  Re-framing words sometimes help.  I used the word chronic as an example.  He has a chronic illness and will have to be on medication for the rest of his life according to his doctors. Chronic means usual, standard, and routine in the dictionary. Well, he has some positive “cronics” in his life.  He” chronicly” loves his wife, plays and enjoys his children, gets hungry, eats, sleeps, goes to church and so on. So chronic doesn’t have to be a bad thing.

Another set of power house words and concepts are present, past, and future.  Living in the present is the most  powerful of the three in my opinion.  There he can focus on his job of getting well, following his doctors orders and having faith that God is in his corner.  The only reason to look back at the past is to search for lessons you have gotten through your life experiences.  When you are thinking about the future you are imagining something.  Something that has not yet happened.  I suggested he replace fearful thoughts of the future with images of his daughter in her wedding dress or of seeing his son’s graduation from college and to picture the celebration of his fiftieth wedding anniversary.

I talked about how keeping a journal can be a healthy outlet for thoughts and feeling,  and a great place to reconnect with hope and faith.  I have found handing my fears over to God when I have felt weak and unable to deal with them has been very helpful.  I sent him a purple notebook and set of pens with purple ink in case he decided to journal.  I chose purple because that color reminds me of God’s royalty.  Purple also stands for his favorite college football team.

This young man is so cordial with others.  I told him he needs  to be a new kind of  people pleaser.  I asked him to let all of the ones in the wings step up and help and support him and his family.  That will help us all feel useful and not so helpless in his family’s time of need, a gift to us.

I even suggested that if he ever experiences any awkward times of silence when friends  stop by he could easily break the ice by asking how they conquered fear and challenges in their past.  What a great way to pass on life’s lessons.

I realize everyone faces trials and tribulations in their life time, and getting through them makes us all stronger.  Character is not made in crisis, it is revealed.  The faith that cannot be tested is faith that cannot be trusted.  And what awaits us on the other side of fear is freedom.  These are words of wisdom that I have run across lately that seem valuable now during this stressful time.

Attitude is a habit.   All who are facing this journey with this family needs to count our blessings daily and help this precious family count theirs.  We need to have faith that they will rise above  what ever lies before them    We all need to pray and have faith that God has a lot more in store for this young man.  I am going to try very hard to stuff my fear and sadness into an imaginary bag and hand it over to God today, and picture my great grand-daughter in her wedding gown.

About Martha (Marty) Dickson Patterson

Marty: Retired from sales and management near Seattle, Washington.
This entry was posted in Bipolar, Fear, Mental Illness and tagged , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to When Bad Things Happen To Good People: Mass Depression…Where is Faith?

  1. Lourdes Mint says:

    I’ve crossed paths with several young people who’ve had this and all are on their merry way again, living their lives. I don’t even know her and I can picture your granddaughter in her wedding gown! 🙂


    • ahuelon says:

      I know they will be fine. It is just the fact that Husband and dad was out of work with knee surgery for 6 months from last
      fall until early winter. He is devastated he will be out of work again and is concerned about his family. They will figure it out. Thanks for you comment and hopeful message. I just hate they are having to face this.


      • Lourdes Mint says:

        We want protect the people we love from suffering. We can’t always. I have to believe, because I’ve seen, that such struggles sometimes — often — bring unexpected gifts. But it does seem this guy has had more than his share! Hang in there, all of you. And I hope you let them know what you know — that they will be fine.


  2. abodyofhope says:

    Oh my goodness! This is such a blessing to my heart!!!! You are ministering to me right now.
    I will be praying for your grandson-in-law as he travels his journey. Having you as a supporter will surely be a blessing to him.

    PS congratulations on another award! When you end up doing the post with your awards, you can lump them all together like this blogger did: http://haylim.wordpress.com/2014/10/13/nominations/
    I hope that helps. And you don’t NEED to nominate a million bloggers- some ppl just choose 3 sometimes. ((((Hugs))))


    • ahuelon says:

      I have decided not to get involved in awards of any kind. Thank you for your nomination. I think responding to awards would get me hooked into my ego, and that is not a direction I want to go. I think my blogs will speak for who I am at the core, and sharing my journey will hopefully touch some soles who have experienced my same experiences and they will feel less alone. I need to focus on why I started blogging in the first place. Again that you for the pat on the back. Hugs.


  3. ahuelon says:

    Thank you for saying that. I believe we are all angles of God when we share from our hearts. We have to educate and support.


  4. Camilla says:

    Thank you for your article! It was really touching.It is hard when someone that we love is going through something like that. You are a strong lady and have a lot of great tips. I will be praying for your family.


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