Tough Winter: Surprising Cause

I have not blogged in a long time.  Here is why.

I usually have challenges during the winter months because of the darkness and rain.  This past year from December until May was particularly bad for me. I ended up being severely depressed and had thoughts of suicide on three different occasions.  All three times I reached out to someone.  Once to a friend and twice to a family member.  I had made an agreement that if those thoughts ever overwhelmed me I would do just that.  I even went to my regular doctor to see if I had a medical problem that I was missing, causing my fatigue and feelings of depression.  No problem was found.  I used my special sun light daily, hoping it would help.  It did not.  I found I could no longer follow the special people I had grown to enjoy in the blogging community related to mental illness.  It was unbearable to read about others suffering.

In May when I had the third episode of contemplating  suicide I was ready to go to a professional to deal with my situation.  I knew I would be put on heavy-duty drugs and my life would change dramatically.  Years ago I was under the care of mental health professionals.  In the 70’s  I took medications that altered my speech, my handwriting and my thought process.  Later in life I was only taking Prozac.  At that time my doctor considered me in remission, what ever that means.  I have been off of Prozac for a couple of years, and have been managing being bipolar with the help of natural supplements prescribed by a professional. This is the first time since the 70’s that suicide has crossed my mind.  I started thinking about my life since December.  Had anything changed?

In December I started using Rogaine Foam for Women once a day.  Bingo.  Could this be a piece of the puzzle?  I stopped using it that  night in May.  In a few days my spirits started rising, I was not as tired as I had been, and was not thinking about ending my life anymore.  I called customer service at  Rogaine and asked if they had ever had any complaints of depression from users.  They said no.  I told them my experiences, and they seemed interested in passing on my story to research doctors who work with their product.  I mentioned my experience to a massage therapist that I visited, and she said she had used it and had become depressed as well but stopped taking it because of the cost of the product.  She said she would have never connected the two.  But after she stopped using the product her depression went away.  I received a full refund for the two shipments that I bought and the customer service that I received was appreciated.

It is now September and I have been pretty sable , just my usual ups and downs which I have learned to deal with.  I am looking forward to reconnecting with the bloggers dealing with day-to-day issues related to mental challenges.